LeT's GeT LossssT

2009-11-03T17:04:00.000+05:30

Seems, I was a Flapper in my last life!! :P

2009-09-24T14:37:00.001+05:30

Quizzes Girls Games

Up...up...and Awayyyyyyyyyyyyy..........

2008-12-26T17:20:00.004+05:30

Picture shot by Anoop, a very sweet friend. Currently, this is my desktop :)

"Face" the World - Don't Get Lost!

2008-12-18T13:10:00.006+05:30

This is one of the situations when I don't want anyone to get losssst. And what better place to express my opinion than here.

I'll come to the point straight away. I was going through a recent piece of news on the BBC website where they had reported about an almost total face transplant. The surgery was successfully carried on, on a woman, who is now said to respond well to the new face. The news headline intrigued me and I read on.

Then I saw what one of the docs said – “We know that there are so many patients there in their homes where they are hiding from society because they are afraid to walk to the grocery stores, they are afraid to go the street.”

This touched me and I thought of putting it across in this precious space I own. Nothing can beat the mental trauma of having a disfigured face (unless you are Micheal Carleone and desperately trying to prove a point with a distorted face). You can not eat, can not smell, and worse, you can not even smile! Just imagine…

This woman was going through the same. And with one surgery, the doctors have restored her back her ability to smell and smile also! This team of doctors was led by Dr Maria Siemionow. Blessed be her soul and those who did this wonderful job. It is as good as giving people back their life.

Having read this, how do you think you can contribute in this great effort? Well, if you know anyone who is hiding and is ashamed to face the world, all because of a distorted face, you can bring in some light and hope in their world. Spread the word around...

If you want to read about this surgery in detail, here is the link - Doctors Explain Face Transplant

About Me...

2008-10-27T01:24:00.001+05:30

The cup of coffee in my hand,
while watching the rain dance on the floor.
The dew drops on the petals
of a pink flower in the garden.

The colour of the walls in my room.
The music of the green wind-chimes hanging by those walls.

The bow of my hat, the purr of the neighbourhood cat.
The watching of sun melting in the western skyline,
from my little window.

The lush green mountains,
And the chattering waterfalls on their laps.
The small black bird watching them all.

The folding of waves in the seas,
Their impulsive kissing the sands and running back coyly.
The lover who sits by the sea side,
With her dearest... or without him.

The love for the guy who taught me what love is all about.
The one who loved me for several years and left a few years back.
The letters that he wrote to me, his cards and gifts
which still nestle in the darkest corner of my room.

The music of a marriage procession on the streets of Delhi,
The distant music of some wedding party in the stillness of a cold December night.

The strumming of my guitar, the peacefulness of the flute.
My fully loaded, but modestly priced lappy.
My CDs, my audio tapes, and the unfailing loyalty of my 10 year old music system.

The fragrance of my make up things, and the beauty that they extend to me...
My flattering and sometimes harsh mirror.
The new wardrobe makeover, the brightness of my brand new stilettos.

The cushions on my bed, the loving affection of my thick pillow.
The pamper of my warm quilt in the cold cold nights.
Along with the bed that I call my Firdaus...

The friend called Ma, the guide called Baba, the philosopher called life.
The house that is much more than shelter or a place to return to.

The hues of mood swings in my best friends,
their lectures and ‘not sugar coating things’
the 'wazzup' of my chat friends,
the kissing of that guy I like so much these days.

I am everything that I like.
I am everything that I love.

On My Way to Goa.......

2008-09-12T11:36:00.006+05:30

A Dream Come True

2008-04-19T12:11:00.004+05:30

My beloved Preetu, whom I was introduced as my colleague, but with her sheer genius and amicable personality, became one of my very close friends in an astonishingly short time period of 3 months has written this for her beloved (no that's not me, :( unfortunately, yet I thought this needs a deserving space (hope this is a good place to put forth her first attempt in poetry.....))

A Dream Come True

Preet

When the sun is shining bright

and the breeze is blowing light;

Comes flowing in my mind

The thought of love I can't find;

Deep in my soul, is a grinding moan,

Of a failure to seek, embrace and call someone my own.

And just then, riding on a milky horse

came an heir of several lands and chores;

His eyes like two diamonds sparkling shine

His torso of a warrior in valour divine;

Down he descends from his rider

With an attitude of a victorious fighter.

His smile that sinks deep into my heart

And my soul tears out into several parts;

His breath was like a survival desire

His touch had the warmth of a latent fire;

His words were like fragrant petals dropping few

An experience my friends I never knew.

How I feel the world in his arms

And all my hearts moaning, Has sunk into smiling calms.

This My Beloved, I need to tell you

That you are my Dream Come True.

P.s. (Dedicated to my husband)

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Neat eh...?

Return To Innocence

2007-09-25T11:13:00.003+05:30

My favourite song - Composed by Enigma - Enjoyed by Me

Really guys - this song takes me to a different world - Some Place Else Man

That's not the beginning of the end
That's the return to yourself
The return to innocence.
Love - DevotionFeeling - Emotion

Love - DevotionFeeling - Emotion
Don't be afraid to be weak
Don't be too proud to be strong
Just look into your heart my friend
That will be the return to yourself
The return to innocence.
If you want, then start to laugh
If you must, then start to cry
Be yourself don't hideJust believe in destiny.
Don't care what people say
Just follow your own way
Don't give up and use the chance
To return to innocence.
That's not the beginning of the end
That's the return to yourself
The return to innocence.
Don't care what people say
Follow just your own way
Follow just your own way
Don't give up, don't give up
To return, to return to innocence.

Let There Be Light

2007-09-24T10:58:00.006+05:30

Life Imprisonment has different effects on different people, but the most tragic one, i feel, is when the person survives all the years in prison and then comes out of the prison, only to see that the world around has changed and he is too incapable of handling the new, fast paced world. This write up of mine is triggered by the tragic end of Brooks in Shawshank Redemption. Did he have an alternative? I guess no. he was too old to change, too old to mend his ways, to old to match speed with the world that he stepped into, after a long long time. If you keep a person in the dark dungeons for a really long time, so long that his eyes are only accustomed to darkness and more darkness, even the slightest ray of sun can be harmful for his eyes. The light outside blinded him, he could not keep his eyes open, he had one and only one way to survive so much light.... keep them shut forever.

The world was not his place. He did not belong to the world. He belonged to the prison. He had adjusted himself there and spent that part of his life, in which almost all men start sinking into the present and adjust themselves to the environment they are in. He was a good man. He was an old man. So good and so old that he couldn't carve out his space in the bad and fast world. Is this what life imprisonment is meant for? If no, then life imprisonment should be for life and not just few years.

Darkness can not be measured. It is simply the absence of Light. Imprisonment is not meant to throw people into more darkness. How can they intend to reform a soul by letting darkness eclipse them completely? If only a little Light can banish the darkness that they are thrown into, then Let there be Light.

Love...

2007-06-21T11:56:00.001+05:30

How funny it is,

I am never with you, but you are always with me, in me, around me

All can not be dream

Nothing is reality

How futile it is

I lose my all to you, but I have it all still

Makes me so unhappy

Yet I am so filled

Flame

2007-05-10T17:46:00.001+05:30

Faith, Devotion, Love
For me its all the same
I light up my mind with Candles
My Love is the Flame

Some Favourite Quotes

2007-04-16T14:28:00.002+05:30

Destination
If you don't know where you are going, any road will get you there.
- Lewis Carroll

Common Sense
Common Sense is not so Common
- Voltaire

Cold Play

2007-04-16T14:18:00.004+05:30

Couriering Coffee

2007-01-23T00:12:00.000+05:30

Couriering Coffee

Coffee is my rescuer when workload takes toll.

So there I was sitting cozily at my workstation one day trying to figure out what all to write in an article that was well giving me those soporific moments until coffee came to my rescue.

All of a sudden my phone rang with the famous Roobaroo introductory tone where the guitars jingle so loud that everyone including me comes back from the virtual world with a jolt.

Recognizing the number, I did not say ‘Hello’ instead I gave it a more personal touch by saying, “Haan Sanchi bol?” Sanchi is Sanchita one of my best buddies, who is the most frequent among all my callers. And yet each time she calls up, there is a hint of smile on my lips when I recognize any of her multiple office phone numbers.

So coming back to coffee, she asked me what was I doing and I said I am enjoying coffee. Since neither she nor I had a better topic to discuss at that time, therefore we went ahead with our nothing-to-say-as-such topic when she asked me to courier some coffee to her, since she wasn’t lucky enough to get any cuppa since morning.

Yes I did sound ridiculous to my colleagues who were stealing glances with each other in utter disbelief of what I was saying over the phone. Ignoring the eavesdropping I continued with how I am going to courier the coffee to her and we devised the plan.

Soon after I hung up, I went to the reception of the office and tried to find out the local courier guy’s number. With a little help from the receptionist, I managed to place the call with the guy and told him about my parcel.

The awestruck yet duty bound guy did turn up at my office gates and soon to the astonishment of him, the receptionist and the passers by, I actually handed him a cup of coffee to be couriered to an address written in a neat, big and extra cautious handwriting on a 2” X 4” piece of paper neatly cut out from a big page.

Despite the incredulous voice I heard over the phone while speaking to the courier service man, he was smart enough to bring along a hot water flask, where he put the content of the cup and placed the cup along with the flask in a box attached to his bike. I completed the forms and other obligations, gave him few instructions for safe delivery of my gift, and watched him zoom off towards main road.

After 30 minutes, the guitars in my mobile phone set off again and when I answered the call, I heard a familiar voice in an unfamiliar tone.

Sanchi had run out of words in utter surprise, disbelief and shock!
However the coffee helped her come back to real life and I would love to believe that it gave her more kick than any coffee she had so far.

A Tribute

2006-08-07T23:58:00.000+05:30

A Tribute

The night falls softly on the snow
And I am far from home
Where white serene mountain peaks
Of blood and death they speak

The static noise of the radio heralds
At old Trafford, India’s victory over Pakistan
Dancing and singing and celebration at the base camp
Here and there in the whole Drass Land

Some bodies were sent today
Their photographs of family soaked in blood
The blood that oozed from several hearts
That gave their life to hallowed grounds

The worn out letter in my pocket
And those tear-filled eye sockets
Ask me how long will it last
The guns, the mines, the bomb blasts

Spite fear and sorrow, the smile on my face
Challenging the cruel incessant disgrace
Here I am to quash them those who toil
To violate my Mother’s precious soil

{i wrote this when i was in school :) }

2006-08-07T01:52:00.000+05:30

Sour Grapes

That day in the library,
From within the shelf of history,
Why were you peeping at me?
You thought I didn’t see you,
So you dropped the book in blue,
Some might have thought, by mistake
But I know that drop was fake.
While you picked it up, you dropped some more
So that I might just look at the floor,
And then I would offer my hand
To pick the books, or help you stand
And then perhaps we would talk.
Next I’d ask you for a walk
Towards the nearby coffee shop
Where discussions would flow on its roof-top
You went that further in your thought
While I was just flipping through some battles fought
I was simply engrossed in my book
That I could’ve missed your disappointed look
You gathered the books and cursed your star
And muttered “perhaps the grapes are sour.”

Urban Depression

2005-11-25T14:48:00.000+05:30

Recently I saw a film called ‘Rog’ staring the talented actor Irfan Khan, where he is in the lead role and goes through a form of mental disbalance which is called ‘urban depression’, where in he feels very lonely and distressed and is no more inclined towards life. He feels the lack of enthusiasm in staying alive due to his solitude and lack of a companion thereby getting the idea of putting an end to his life and endeavors the same several times but meets failure each time.
In this fast paced urban life where every second is a fight for survival, we often feel left out in the race of earning a living and social esteem. Not only loneliness but also the inability to overcome it leads to frustration and you are helpless as you can not even let it out. There is a sea of people around you but ‘water water every where, not a drop to drink’.
Most of my friends have come from various parts of the country to pursue their education or for jobs in the capital of the country which not only has a plethora of options to offer, but also promises you a steep growth. In the rush of life I often loose touch with them and they get very absorbed in their career that they seldom get the time to ponder over their loneliness, and so I think till the time I have a hearty tête-à-tête with them.
It’s the unavailability of time, patience and compassion that leads to the tacit agony of urban depression. You want to speak up, but you have no other option but to gag yourself. Even if you shout, your scream gets absorbed by the towers in the jungle of cement.
We try to find solace in various activities like fitness centers and yoga classes. But unless we develop a compassionate ear and heart for our colleagues, acquaintances, neighbors and all those whose life revolves around us, there is no other way out to break free from the monotony of a robotic life that we so cozily hide behind in the mad frenzy of conurbation.

Equinox

2005-07-20T22:03:00.000+05:30

Tenderly falls the evening,
of a mid September day,
after the hustle-bustle,
the night makes it way.

The titillating breeze urges,
with frisky frivolous knocks,
the parched yellowing leaves,
murmuring in flocks.

The clouds nautically
heaven, they survey.
Augur that nigh is,
the first winter day.

The much adulated moon
allures them to fetch it.
But alas you can see it,
and you can not touch it.

Just for that hypnotic glimpse
they want the night to stay,
but the days and nights are same,
forgot, those clouds, poor and grey.

Its equinox of September,
day equals night.
Soon the moon will wax away,
till it’s out of sight

2005-07-20T21:49:00.001+05:30

Page 1 of the diary my spectacles wrote....
I am her best friend. I know it. But she doesn’t. Often she becomes oblivious of my presence. But she needs me almost through out the 24 hours.
She just can not do without me. I am required in everything she does. If she needs to work, she needs me first to be there with her. If she is hungry, she would need me. If she has to find out something she first asks for my presence because I would be helping her in her search.
I show her the beauty of things and the help her decide the ugly. I help her look at the good side as well as the bad side of everything.
Whether it is some decision she would make or the execution part of it, I am there lingering with her through out, sometimes helping her and sometimes just being there with her. Good times or bad times, I am always with her. She can not travel without me. She can not work without me. I help her see the world and thereby help her deciding between the good and the bad. I help her in creating a better and a clear picture of everything she sees.
When we first met, she chose me very carefully. I was there in a competition with the others of my ilk. She picked each of us and tried and tested each individual very thoughtfully, she went through the characteristics of each one very carefully how do we look, how each of us behaves, misbehaves, acts, reacts etc. in different situations, who goes best with her personality… she paid attention to every minutest details. After all the rigorous testing, finally she zeroed on me. She chose me and she asked my ward to dress me up in such a way that would suit her best.
Then shortly after she came and picked me up and I with my little luggage went with her to stay with her forever till I become obsolete and wear down. It was a turning point in my life. I was more than married to her. We became one and remained so almost through out her daily rituals. I have become an almost inseparable part of her.
But I also know that one day she will do away with me. When she will get bored of me or if something goes wrong with me, she will simply dump me in the dungeons of all that is discarded. When she changes, or her personality does, she will just refuse me then. I know that my end is inevitable. Yet I still carry on with my duty and responsibility to help her see this world and enjoy the beauty of it all.
To perceive, one needs to sense. And to sense one needs to see. I help her to see.

2005-07-20T21:33:00.000+05:30

It’s in their eyes….

I am sitting on the shore, watching the waves come one after the other in massive heights hitting the rocks and then shattering into millions of droplets, all scattered and dispersed apart, falling away distinctly away from each other, the drops that splashed and spread over the rocks were once an inseparable and united whole that made up the huge wave raging and rushing forward with all its mighty wrath and glory. And now the wrath has broken, the glory gone and the wave is no more.
At a distance I see a group of young people enjoying themselves, basking in the thrills of the sea. Bathing and splurging while the waves shower them with water and joy. They play with the water and throw water over each other. The shrieks of their laughter echo in the air and in my mind. This echo stirs up memories of some beautiful moments I spent with my friends.
My friends, who are now engrossed in their busy schedules, could not find time for me anymore, soon after they came to know about it. Or rather they don’t want to come near me, lest I touch them or breath the same air and contaminate it.
I still remember the fights over one bottle of coke and eyeing it to grasp a swig of the drink from the same bottle.
And now they would dread it. Reason…. I have been diagnosed HIV+. They have families to take care of, their reputation is at stake, their life is precious, and they can not take risk.
The young group has left now. And I am thrown back to my solitude which screams out my guilt to me. The emptiness inside me and around me etches my crime on every thought. Despite the sounds of the sea, silence triumphs. The wind that touches me, stings.
An enormous wave confronted the rock I am sitting on and broke apart to drench my body which was drenched already… with my misdemeanor.
My misdemeanor was that I donated blood at a blood donation camp in my college and I trusted the health worker and his needles. For that very trust, I am paying with my life.

Do I have AIDS? My doctor says no. I am just tested HIV+. But when the HIV virus will weaken my immune system to the point that my body will not be able to fight back infections, then I will be getting AIDS. But I am already considered to have it. It is there in everybody’s eyes.
My doctor tells me that with precautions I can still lead a healthier lifestyle to slow down the virus. But how can my life be healthy if the people around me detest me to the point that they don’t even want to come near me. They treat the entire person I am as a diseased part of a body which they want to cut and throw out of their lives. I don’t understand why. It’s often said, heard and written that an HIV+ person does not spread the disease through touch or air that they breathe in. Then why such injustice from people I love and who said that they loved me too. Why such injustice from people who are as well educated as I am. Why such injustice for a crime that I have not committed.
They don’t love me anymore. They have left me. I have been chucked out of my job without a reason. The sad looks on the faces of my parents gnaws at me. Life has not come to a standstill; it has become a severe punishment. I know that death is lurking in some corner not very far.
I just wish it comes nearer. I just wish it comes nearer.

Sagar kinaare...

2005-07-07T00:16:00.000+05:30

The sea beckons to the sand,
"come touch my hand,
let me hold urs forever,
let my love endeavor. "

The sand shimmers and glows,
as the water softly flows.
The sea touches its heart,
and again drifts apart....

Lost and Found

2005-07-05T17:22:00.000+05:30

This is my blog,
and I am confused...
what do i write...?
I pondered and mused.

I thought and thought and
I am still thinking
Alas! How hard I try
the bell just isnt ringing

Thoughts come and thoughts go
Wish i could lay them in a concrete row.

They are just like butterflies....
too hard to catch, yet beautiful to eyes.

I see them, I like them and I try to hold...
but now you see them...
and the next moment you dont.

Like an oasis,
it beckons me near.
And in a flash.... it is gone
as I try to reach there.

So in all my effort
to publish a post,
my thoughts just kept enticing me
Let's Get Lost.....